


Watch the Sky

by Laylah



Category: Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne
Genre: M/M, Neutral Ending, Philosophy, The Conception
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-15
Updated: 2011-02-15
Packaged: 2017-10-15 16:42:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/162802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laylah/pseuds/Laylah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Sometimes, I feel like...is this the best I could do? Not you, I mean. I'm talking about the world."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Watch the Sky

Naoki's first hint that Isamu remembers is the way his shoulders hunch, the way he ducks his head to hide his eyes behind his hat, when he stands on Naoki's doorstep waiting to be invited in and says, "I don't know. I just...didn't want to be alone, I guess."

"Changed your mind, huh?" Naoki says. Isamu flinches. Naoki opens the door wider. "Come on in, then."

Those early nights it's just...being there, together. Isamu reads comics while Naoki plays games on his computer, or they watch late-night variety shows on TV. Isamu brings over liquor sometimes, and pretty much everything on TV is more entertaining when you drink at the same time. They wind up slumped against each other, shoulders touching, loose-limbed and quiet. Not talking about the Conception, or any of that. Some nights Isamu stays over. Naoki doesn't mind—it's sort of nice to have company.

The night when Isamu kisses him during a commercial break, Naoki mostly thinks, _Oh_ , like he should have seen it coming and didn't. He kisses back. One thing leads to another, and it's a little clumsy and awkward, but it's human and warm and Isamu feels comfortable in Naoki's arms.

After that happens a few times, Naoki supposes they're probably boyfriends. That seems nice. Ordinary, maybe, not a big epic story like living through the Conception was, but it's nice. He's...restless, but for now nice is enough.

Isamu notices eventually. He was never as shallow and thoughtless as he pretended to be. "Something's bothering you, huh," he says one night, as they lie in a tangle of overheated limbs on Naoki's futon.

"I guess so," Naoki says. "Sometimes, I feel like...is this the best I could do? Not you, I mean," he says, grabbing for Isamu's hand before Isamu can recoil. "I'm talking about the world."

"You don't do anything halfway, do you?" Isamu says. Naoki can't tell if the laughter in his voice is genuine or panicked. "What, you think you should have gone with a Reason after all?"

Naoki shakes his head. "They weren't good choices," he says. "But I feel like...I should have been able to do _something_ better than what we had before."

Silence for a little while. Isamu fidgets. "Could you still?" he asks eventually.

"I don't think so," Naoki says. "What I had was a one-time deal, I think. Just to make the world, not to keep changing it later."

Isamu nods, and they let the subject drop.

It keeps coming up after that, though. Silly little things, mostly: _I wish I'd thought to make a world with better late-night TV_ , Naoki will say when they're flipping through channels. _Next time you create the world, could you keep my soda from going flat so fast?_ Isamu will ask as he digs through the fridge.

When it's more serious, they're less likely to say anything out loud, but they're still thinking it. Naoki flinches when the news talks about floods and famines, about local skirmishes turning into regional wars. Isamu catches his eye sympathetically if they're in public, or squeezes his hand if they're not, but it weighs on him. Why _didn't_ he do better? Couldn't he have found some way to bring back the best things about this world without also bringing back all of its flaws?

"What if I could try again?" he asks one afternoon, when Isamu is shutting off news coverage of another riot somewhere. "What if _we_ could try again?"

"What, you want to start it over, have another Conception?" Isamu asks. "You'd want to go through all that again?"

Naoki frowns. "No," he says. "But I might think it was worth it."

They stay up late that night, and don't even pretend to pay attention to games or comics or the TV. They spend the whole time in bed together, and Naoki thinks it feels like Isamu is trying to memorize every inch of him.

When it's late enough and they're tired enough that they can't do anything more than lie there, sated, exhausted, Isamu says, "Promise me something."

Naoki rolls over to look at him.

"If you...if it happens again," Isamu says, "I want to stick together."

"I promise," Naoki says. He puts his hand over Isamu's heart, feels it beating strong and steady under his palm.

It's easier than Naoki expected, to meet the conditions the Conception requires. He asked to have his world back, and it looks like he got it. All of it, complete with the warring occult factions primed and ready to take their conflict to the streets. It only takes a few weeks of asking the right questions, encouraging the right rumors.

When the day comes, they're in Shinjuku together, on the roof of the hospital, waiting. The sky darkens and lightning snaps and crackles, striking down all over the city. Naoki takes Isamu's hand as they watch the world end.

This time, they'll remake it right.


End file.
